watching life depart without me

Sometimes, it feels like the world is a rushing river, flowing with urgency, sweeping everyone along in its current. People around me are paddling, swimming, gliding with the flow—each of them heading toward their own horizon, chasing dreams, goals, futures. It’s as if time is a train they’re all catching, and I’m left behind, watching them board one by one, while I remain frozen, stuck in this moment.

M

Melrose Kyrene Aquino

Author

3 min readMay 20, 2026
watching life depart without me

Sometimes, it feels like the world is a rushing river, flowing with urgency, sweeping everyone along in its current. People around me are paddling, swimming, gliding with the flow—each of them heading toward their own horizon, chasing dreams, goals, futures. It’s as if time is a train they’re all catching, and I’m left behind, watching them board one by one, while I remain frozen, stuck in this moment.

I watch their lives unfold in front of me : new medals, new friends, new experiences. They’re building something, adding to their lives, becoming versions of themselves they didn’t even know they could be. And then there’s me. Stuck. I’ve paused, unsure of where to go or how to move forward. 

I wonder if I’ve missed my train, if I’ve waited too long and let the momentum of life pass me by. Every day feels like a battle between the urge to move and the weight of hesitation. I used to know exactly what I wanted, but somewhere along the way, something changed. 

Maybe I grew afraid of the unknown, or perhaps the path ahead seemed too unclear. While others kept climbing, reaching new heights, I’ve been standing here—too afraid to take that first step. I’m not sure if it’s fear of failure, fear of success, or just the fear of change itself. 

But whatever it is, it has paralyzed me.

It’s not that I don’t want to move forward. It’s that I feel like I’ve lost the map, and the compass I once trusted no longer points the way. I feel like I’ve been stuck at a crossroads, unsure which path will take me where I need to go. 

There’s a gnawing feeling in my chest, the knowledge that I should be moving, that I should be striving for something, but every time I try to take a step, I feel overwhelmed by the weight of uncertainty. 

But here’s the thing: everyone has their own pace. Everyone moves through life at a different rhythm. Maybe I’m not moving forward in the same way they are, but that doesn’t mean I’m not moving at all. Just because the world around me is speeding up doesn’t mean I have to rush. I have to remind myself that sometimes, stopping isn’t failure. Sometimes, it’s necessary. Sometimes, you need to pause to catch your breath, to recalibrate, to figure out who you are before you can figure out where you’re going. 

It’s okay to take a break. It’s okay to let yourself stand still for a while. It’s okay to not have everything figured out. In fact, it’s often in the moments of stillness that we find the answers we’ve been searching for. 

And when I’m ready—when the time feels right,---I’ll move again .  Not because I’m racing to catch up, but because I’ll be ready to move forward on my own terms. 

I haven’t stopped forever. I just needed a little more time to figure it out.

M

Written by Melrose Kyrene Aquino

Melrose Kyrene Aquino is a dedicated campus journalist and contributor. Their insightful writing sparks meaningful conversations and keeps the community informed.

More in Literary

SSean Rain E. Santos

May Kandado ang Pridyider

Hindi ko alam kung saan hahagilapin ang susi—ang alam ko lang, kusa itong bumubukas. Sana ganoon ulit bukas.

1 month ago• 2 min read
RReiza Jean Valesco

I Hate My Greens

“Ma, malunggay na naman?” Upon asking that with exasperation, my face would scrunch in disgust. Through my childhood years, my plate was constantly green. Long, stringy kangkong, bitter ampalaya, and all sorts of native greens filled my meals. These greens, I’d say, are borrowed. Usually, they were plucked from a wealthy neighbor’s backyard, where my mother would reach over the low wooden fences that separated our homes. In my eyes, they were nothing but pity giveaways from those who were well-off to us, who were one meal away from starvation.

1 month ago• 3 min read
SStargazer

sana may ate rin si ate.

sana may kumilala rin kay ate kung sa paanong paraan niya ako kinilala. sana may kayang mag bigay ng pagmamahal niya kung sa paanong paraan niya ako minahal. sana masukliaan na ang mga bagay na isinugal ni ate para sa amin.

2 months ago• 2 min read
Explore all Literary articles